Posts Tagged With: booze

Passion Fruit Lemongrass Wine

Woodstock Wine #1
Passion Fruit Lemongrass Wine (experimental) Recipe:

Makes ~20 liters
-1.5 kilos sugar

-quart-sized pot of rice

-1.5 kilos passion fruit

-1 kilo lemongrass

-1 tsp honey

-1 strong pot of green tea

-1 packet of Emergen-C (or Ascorbic Acid Pills. / Vitamin C supplements)

-A good book

Sterilize your jug with hot water and a capful of bleach. Rinse and dry.

Cook the rice with plenty of water until it’s pure mush. Cool off and throw into the jug to start your wort.

Cook the sugar until it dissolves in water. Cool and add to the wort.

Cut open the passion fruit, empty into a pot. Add some green tea (just because) and boil the mixture to sterilize it. Cool and add to the wort.

Cut the lemongrass down so it will fit into a pot with water. Boil it down for half an hour. Let cool and add to the jug.

Top the jug off with clean water. Most bottled water contains chlorine, an enemy of fermentation. Ascorbic Acid helps to break chlorine and chloramine down. I experiment by using half a packet of Emergen-C to the jug & mixing it. 

Add a pot of cooled green tea to the jug for yeast nutrition.

Stir a glob of honey into a quafter cup of hot water. Let the water cool and add your yeast packet when the temp is around 38°C/105°F. Cover the cup and let the yeast activate for twenty minutes.

Add the yeast to the jug and cover the lid with a paper towel (or clean rag) for 3-5 days.

After the major fermentation is completed (3-5 days), cover the mouth of the jug with a vaporlock (I’m using a balloon with a pinhole in the top.)

Wait ~20 days. Taste & enjoy. Decide if it should be bottled as wine or made into hard cider instead!

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Alcoholism for Kids (A song about DIY Booze)

Here’s a children’s song I wrote.It’s about homemade booze:

My bottle is a hole in a bucket, a hole in a bucket

A hole in a bucket
When I plug the holes, my bucket overflows, 

my bucket overflows
If we don’t use the water, we’ll lose the water

we lose’ll the water, we’ll lose the water
California state is hella thirsty, 

hella thirsty, hella thirsty
So let’s make a gutter for all the water

put it in a barrel, put in a barrel
We can to the orchard, pick us some apples, 

pick us some apples, pick us some apples
In that water we’ll pour a little sugar,

Just a little dash, pour a little dash,
When that water starts a-bubbling, we add the apple mash, add the apple mash, add the apple mash
Wait three weeks and have yourself a drink, 

have yourself a drink, before you start to think
Man, with all this juice I could be making fuel,

Making a killing, breaking rules an’ making fuel
We gone to the junkyard to get some copper,

Get some copper, and look out for coppers
Then we cook the wine and sell it to the neighbors,

 sell it to the neighbors, and sell it to the neighbors
Now we got holes in our livers, 

holes in our kidneys, and holes in our heads, 

I fell down the ladder with a hole in my bladder, 

while my belly gettin’ fatter. 
Oh Daddy, my head don’t feel pain

burning high octane, 

no pain And big gains with high octane.

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friday night / cocksure

the word “fuck” made fun
censored on cable television
innuendo in advertising
like,”time is property & so are you!”

friday night is still free
unless you work
as a baker
cook
trucker
doctor
alcoholic
gravedigger
bartender
server

tits up, tips out
get it in ladies
free salsa with the chips
new debit card with the chip
we got a few things on our shoulders
so smash it out gentlemen

“let’s get it! hustle racks on racks on racks”
get what?
“nigga, i ain’t worried ’bout nothin’!”
oh you too?
“I’ma make her my bitch ‘n smack ‘dem titties.”
basic
basically insecure
basically insecure at being along

fight the power,
ya dumb dicks
(a night in the life
of basic man)

let’s go downtown
poke around the shaft walls of phallic towers,
city skyline full of dicks in the air
i’m neither proud nor ashamed
i was born naked

masks on, brim low
neon lights outline fancy bars
leather wallet, too fat to fold
tall glasses, too cold to hold
splash paper on counter
*clink* *clank*
cheers, cute stranger with black licorice eyes
let’s find the keys to our mouths

cinnamon + sugar + corn liquor
fire in these balls, giddyup cowgirl
save a horse… saving whores?
need a chaser?
how ’bout a kiss?
cheap lines
cheap
cheap

jokes, drinks, straws
sweat, rubbers, drawers
lick, taste, pause
teeth, finger, claws
blood, rug burn, busted walls
tongue meets cheek meets sweating balls

bodily canvas unveiled
drawing damn fine outlines,
sunrise colors us red-eyed
and dehydrated
cracked bedroom window leaks
fresh air cut with exhaust fumes
late for work, forget the name
pack it in, pack it out
leave no trace

cheap
cheap
the early chickadee calls the sun “cheap”
they’re too young to know
how real roosters crow;
you can surely find them old cocks
fighting legendary alley cats

I wouldn’t lie to ya,
“on my word as a gentlemen”
out back behind the bar,
it’s cat vs cock
i put $20 on cat
‘cus the rooster was too cocksure;
you shoulda seen it
there were feathers everywhere

ill give ya the inside juice:
if ya wanna bet on cock
take some razor blades to the fight
tie ’em to the spurs;
ya won’t know you’re winning
’til ya see blood

these sidewalks tell stories, kid
it happens every weekend
the same game rolls
like head in glory holes

which reminds me
of guillotines & desire:
i hear the human head
bears witness to its removal
for seven solid moments
before it dies.

 

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