Opiate Detox Recipe (At Home With the Blinders Up)

Opiate addict friends: I know some of you want to get off your habit. Maybe you don’t want to go to rehab because they’ll forever banish you from the glorious kingdom of doctor prescribed painkillers.

I mean, what if you get really fucked up? Like, shanked in a bar fight and staph starts creeping up your pelvis. Your asshole is throbbing in the ER, and the doctor looks at your chart and sez,

“Aw, another junkie. Give him some naproxen and a salt tablet. He’ll walk it off.”

You better have a good bedside manner with them doctors or they won’t give you much.

So I get it. You wanna kick at home. Maybe get high on weekends still? Go on a quick spin dry cycle to get your tolerance down so you can actually afford and enjoy your habit again. No? That doesn’t sound good? You actually want to be clean? Good.

You’re pretty hard when you’re high but you’re not gangster enough to kick cold turkey. That’s fine. I have a way out that’s not as painful as some. Only thing is, this involves the use of multiple other addictive drugs. So, remember the cross-tolerance factor and don’t be a train hoppin’ junkie hobo jumpin’ cabooses from smack to crack to booze to shopping. Use these drugs for your kick and drop ‘em. You’ll figure your life out if you can ride out the detox and get a good bounce in your step. Sound good?

I gotta say first: I am not a doctor, though I pretend to be. This should not be considered as medical advice. Pursue at your own risk.

Step One:

Go Shopping

Here’s my list:




Hydroxyzine (or Diphenhydramine)

Phenibut HCL




Comfort food

Herbal meds:





St. John’s Wort


It’s very affordable. Reddit has a kratom vendor list. Google that shit. Get some green vein and don’t pay more than $120 for a kilo. You only really need a week supply so 4-8 ounces ought to suffice. Side note: reddit also has great detox support.

Gabapentin, Clonidine, Hydroxyzine

These are available by prescription only. Your doctor ought to fork these over if you tell him about what’s goin’ on. But yeah, you don’t wanna get blacklisted off narcotic prescriptions so maybe tell him you’re kicking a booze or a cannabis dependency. Gabapentin for restless legs & anxiety. Clonidine for overall withdrawal symptoms (blood pressure medication). Hydroxyzine for anxiety and sleep (anxiolytic anti-histamine).

(If your doctor can’t deliver those, I recommend getting the following substitutes OTC:

Diphenhydramine [Benadryl]

Dextromethorphan Hbr [Robitussin… make sure DXM is the ONLY ingredient on the label. The pills are a tad easier to stomach than the liquid.])


Your mom or grandma probably have some layin’ around. Or your dealer, if you still have any money left. These are habit forming so don’t take for more than a week. Be VERY careful mixing these with the other medications. Go sparingly. Dissolve small doses under your tongue until you feel better.

Phenibut HCL or FAA

If you can’t get benzos, these are legally available online. They are a nootropic drug developed by the Russians and used on astronauts to help their anxiety. It works similar to benzos, best taken on an empty stomach. The HCL version is highly acidic and harsh on the stomach. The FAA version is neutral PH and easy to stomach although a bit more expensive. Can be habit forming. Do not take for more than a week.


Also sold as Imodium. Not to be underestimated. This is a fentanyl analogue. It can be potentiated with quinine (found in tonic water). Figure out your own dosage; likely you’ll need to take 3-4x the recommended amount for the first 3 days. Don’t take for more than a week.

Multivitamins & Comfort food

Self-explanatory. I like whole food vitamins and lukewarm soup.

If you can find any ketamine, I think it works wonders for withdrawal and depression. Just don’t get your dumb ass addicted to that shit too.

Step Two:

Prepare for post acute withdrawal by taking herbs immediately:

Ashwagandha, Ginseng, Kava, Scullcap, St. John’s Wort, Turmeric

These herbs will help with the post acute withdrawal symptoms. Without any dope in your veins, your brain will be learning to regulate natural production of neurotransmitters. Ashwagandha and Ginseng are adaptogenic herbs. They’ll help regulate your endocrine system. The Kava and Scullcap are nervine tonics. Helps with anxiety. St. John’s Wort for depression. Turmeric for pains and mood. Combine these herbs with a pinch of crushed black pepper to increase bioavailability. Take as directed, multiple times a day. Take for at least two weeks up to three months. Most of these need at least a week of daily consumption to start working.

Step Three:

Engage Acute Withdrawal

The basic rigamarole is- STOP DOING DOPE. No more. Embrace the suck. You’ll be okay. Gotta earn your life back and stop being a goddamn puppet slave.

Take the kratom with grapefruit juice for best results. Works better when your stomach is close to empty. Use ginger if you take too much. You *should* be able to transition off the dope and onto the kratom without a whole lot of discomfort. You may have to take a lot and it won’t be easy to stomach at first. Use ginger and psyllium husk (or Metamucil) to aid your digestion.

Use the Phenibut to help with your anxiety and sleep. Do not take more than 3000mg in one go. A safe and effective dose for w/d anxiety is 1000mg – 2000mg.

DO NOT USE ANY OF YOUR OTHER MEDS (Unless you deem it necessary. You’ll need them for the real kick.)

After you’ve taken kratom for at least four days straight, you should have effectively disrupted your dope habit. Now you can taper off the kratom slowly, or just jump straight off and get it over with. Your call.

In the event you get stuck on kratom for a month or two, don’t worry. There is a way off that, too. It’s called stem & vein kratom. You can order that from most vendors. It doesn’t contain very much of the alkaloids that get you high but it’ll be enough to help you make the switch without ruining you. A kratom kick lasts anywhere from 3-6 days. Take the stem and vein as a strict taper and gradually step down to zero over a week.

If you haven’t gotten addicted to kratom, congratulations! You’re ready to get through a few shitty days of your asshole falling out and your face dripping onto the floor. It’s okay. You’re gonna get through this and what doesn’t kill ya, doesn’t kill ya.

Now you can begin utilizing the other meds. Take plenty of showers, walk when your legs get restless, and overall THUG IT OUT! Get through it. You are tough. You will make it and you will earn your balance through perseverance! Also, I love you. I’m here to help. Ask if you have any questions.

By the end of the first ten days, you should be good. Stop taking all the auxiliary drugs, even if they seemed fun. Keep taking the herbs. Start eating healthy. Brush your teeth. Take showers. Go to an NA meeting if that’s your thing. Don’t hang around with your junkie friends. Hang tough.

If ya can’t seem to kick it still, there are Ibogaine clinics in Canada and Mexico. They last about a week and run between $3,000 – $8,000. They seem to have great results if you’ve got the coin. Ayahuasca also has reported abilities to pull your head out of your ass and put the fear of God into you. The same with most other psychedelics. Yoga & Vipassana work wonders as well but they’re slower. Consider these approaches if you need a psycho-somatic reboot. Don’t go it alone if you’re not experienced and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Passion Fruit Lemongrass Wine

Woodstock Wine #1
Passion Fruit Lemongrass Wine (experimental) Recipe:

Makes ~20 liters
-1.5 kilos sugar

-quart-sized pot of rice

-1.5 kilos passion fruit

-1 kilo lemongrass

-1 tsp honey

-1 strong pot of green tea

-1 packet of Emergen-C (or Ascorbic Acid Pills. / Vitamin C supplements)

-A good book

Sterilize your jug with hot water and a capful of bleach. Rinse and dry.

Cook the rice with plenty of water until it’s pure mush. Cool off and throw into the jug to start your wort.

Cook the sugar until it dissolves in water. Cool and add to the wort.

Cut open the passion fruit, empty into a pot. Add some green tea (just because) and boil the mixture to sterilize it. Cool and add to the wort.

Cut the lemongrass down so it will fit into a pot with water. Boil it down for half an hour. Let cool and add to the jug.

Top the jug off with clean water. Most bottled water contains chlorine, an enemy of fermentation. Ascorbic Acid helps to break chlorine and chloramine down. I experiment by using half a packet of Emergen-C to the jug & mixing it. 

Add a pot of cooled green tea to the jug for yeast nutrition.

Stir a glob of honey into a quafter cup of hot water. Let the water cool and add your yeast packet when the temp is around 38°C/105°F. Cover the cup and let the yeast activate for twenty minutes.

Add the yeast to the jug and cover the lid with a paper towel (or clean rag) for 3-5 days.

After the major fermentation is completed (3-5 days), cover the mouth of the jug with a vaporlock (I’m using a balloon with a pinhole in the top.)

Wait ~20 days. Taste & enjoy. Decide if it should be bottled as wine or made into hard cider instead!

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Witchdoctors Tea: Gold Cap Cubensis, Group Mind Trip

Here is an overview of our improvised recipe:

Spring water at a rolling boil, added:
Thumb-sized ginger
Thumb-sized turmeric
Three pinches black pepper
Three “dollops” of coconut oil

Let boil for 10 minutes, add:
six passion fruit leaves
two small bits of fennel

let boil for five minutes, let cool  add
five pinches of ground Chaga mushroom
10 caps and 10 stems of dried Gold Cap Cubensis mushrooms

Low simmer for fifteen minutes, add another dollop of coconut oil
Let steep for ten minutes.
Add some fresh mango juice for flavor and vitamin C

For this preparation we started off with a fire-blackened teapot, probably a quart capacity, full of natural spring water.
I pray to the river and ask it to deliver us pure, clean water from the spring source,
invoking the elemental force of water.
Snapping sticks and listening to the wind, I ponder what will go into the brew.

We are having a Group Mind trip, which means myself and 4 others will be partaking.
It is important to have pure elemental presence when catering to the Mushroom Mind.
Pure water + pure Earth + pure Fire + pure Air = Pure Space

I invoke the element of fire and make prostrations, asking it to help us conjure a proper brew.
I offer it some cedar and sage, along with bits of palo santo.
I engage in purifying thoughts, making sure to clear my hands in the smoke and keep them relaxed and ready.
I ask the Almighty Aloof to use my hands as His in this preparation.

I ask everyone to focus their minds and start to consider their intentions for ingesting this medicine.

I start off boiling a thumb-sized piece of ginger and a thumb-sized piece of turmeric.
This will aid with digestion & circulation.
I add black pepper and coconut oil to infuse with the roots.
This will help the solubility & bioavailability of the whole tea, as well as invoking pure Earth.
The roots come from local soil.

I have a handful of passion fruit leaves, containing MAOI, which is rumored to potentiate the effects of Psilocybin.
Passion fruit leaves have a sedative effect, which I prefer over anything stimulating.
I ask the group what they prefer, and they request a neutral brew. I add six leaves; a rather small amount.
It is important to be careful when combining these ingredients, as too much on either end can have undesired effects.

From here, I let the roots boil with the leaves while the girls hand-grind the mushrooms.
I do my own grinding of some Vermont Chaga mushroom with a rasp.

We let the tea cool from a boil and add the Chaga along with the Gold Caps & stems.
I combine the mushrooms with good faith, feeling that they will work well together.
I read a prayer and we meditate on our intentions for ten minutes as the tea steeps.
Following breath as a group, we invoke the pure element of Air.

The tea is oily, but not broth-y. We bless the batch, and split the pot.
It tastes smooth and dark.
Although this is a light dose for the group, we have high hopes.
The come-up is smooth and the ride is perfect. No gastric disturbances, no anxiety, no butterflies.
Pure Space.

The Doctors Results:
Closed-eye movies
a realization of bodily symmetry & the root of dualism: two eyes, two arms, two legs!
deep meditation & yoga (as in union)
Friendly downloads and amazing sunset views from a mid-Valley ridge vista.

End transmission.

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