Old Man and All

Old man in the mirror
staring back at me
feels foreign yet familiar
his eyes have luster
his heart won’t let go of loss
but I know
loss loses itself
eventually

somewhere inside
I’m ignorant
sitting on a rocking chair
spitting on the porch
smoking Marbs to the filter
drinking six cans at a time
talking racism
bleeding anger

somewhere in my eyes
I’m weak and lonely
afraid
that I’m not enough
that we’ve never been enough

I lean my head back
into the fire
and laugh

born in heaven
raised from hell
I don’t need either
anymore

I see that same crazy look
in my fathers eyes
I see us
running from ourselves
as I am ever running
back

in the mirror,
I see myself yelling,
“we were doomed from the beginning”
but I’m only half-listening

I tell him in daylight
and in my dreams,
“I am nothing, I am empty.”

I say it ‘cus
you can’t expect
nothing
to become
something

and there you have it

I give you:
everything.

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Categories: poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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